I miss my coufritwin

I was thinking about how when I get back from my mission all of the people I know will probably be graduated and moved away from Provo. It's a bummer, but at this point it's a non-issue. Maybe I think that most people will forget about me while I'm gone. That's understandable and a little bit expected. I mean, our lives are changing faster than Heidi Montag's facial structure. And I hope that most of my friends will move on with their lives in the 18 months I'm gone and get married and all that. The scary part came when I came to the following conclusion:

I'm really terrible at making friends.

I'm actually really shy. I have been since I was a little kid. I'm also terrified of people. They really intimidate me. After a few weeks of observing the people around me, I can start to make an effort to get to know them. And it takes serious, concerted effort for me to do so. Perhaps people are hesitant to reach out to me, I think because I'm tall and a little stoic, especially when I'm new because I'm too busy internally freaking out to remember to smile and look approachable.

The funny thing is, I don't think this will be an issue for me when I'm on my mission. It certainly wasn't a problem for me at Disney. I think it just depends on what my job is (literally and figuratively).

Anyway, the whole reason I started thinking about this is because on Monday I wore my Pope necklace and today I wore my Hanson tshirt and despite being around people all day, no one seemed to notice them. Except my grandmother, who saw my Pope necklace and laughed.


After reading over what I've written so far, I realize that this post makes no sense. So I'll stop here.