Barbara, it's time to come home...

Buongiorno a tutti!

Well. This is it. The last email. My last pday. My last few hours in Italy. My suitcases are mostly packed. The new missionaries are here. My ministry as a full-time missionary in the Italy Milan Mission is ending.

So you're all dying to know - how am I doing???? To be honest, I've been doing okay. Well, at least up until the past few days. Mostly I felt like the end of my mission would never come, but now here it is, right around the corner. I'll kind of randomly start feeling major butterflies in my stomach, and today was the worst because transfers are tomorrow. But I'm doing alright. Mostly because I know that my time is up. I know that I've done all I could. And I've done a lot. I feel so satisfied with the past year and a half of my life. I feel fulfilled. I've been so beyond blessed that I can't even believe that my life is real. I've learned how to love. I couldn't be happier. That doesn't mean that I've been happy every second of the past 19 months, but I know that every one of those seconds has contributed to the missionary/person/woman that I've become. Dad, I know that you keep telling me about how Squeaky has grown so much that I won't even recognize her, but to tell the truth, I'm not sure if you'll even recognize me. I am 5000 times better than I was before, if you can believe it. I feel like the fulfillment of the scripture in Luke 9:24: "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it." What I have now is better than anything I left behind.

Well, now that the mushy part is over (for now), practical things! Transfers!!!! I'M GOING TO BE A DOUBLE NONNA!!!! Yep! Slla Bunker AND Slla Heupel are BOTH training!!!!!!! Slla H is staying in Rimini and Slla Bunker is training AND opening in Bergamo! There are all kinds of wonderful things happening all over the mission with all of the new sisters coming in. I'm so proud of Slla B and Slla H. Slla Lyman is obviously staying here in Milano, and Slla Stewart (who was in the same MTC group as her) will be coming up from Genova to be her new companion. I'm super excited for them.

Oh! And the Sorella conference! It was awesome! I was so nervous the whole time because in the morning Slla L and I played our duet of the mission hymn and then in the afternoon I had the incredible opportunity to bear my testimony to all the sisters. It was the first time I've cried about going home. I wasn't the only one crying, either!

This week has positively flown by. We've been super busy with appointments and stuff. At the end of church on Sunday, at the end of RS, I asked if I could say something and so I stood up and told everyone that I was leaving and thanked them and told them that I loved them. Some of them clapped...and yes, it WAS awkward...and I had a lot of people come up and talk to me after. Everyone told me how much they'd miss me and how I had brought so much joy and happiness into the ward. I feel kinda bad for Slla Stewart who is coming to replace me here because I'm a tough act to follow!!!

I spent most of this morning packing (or rather staring at my suitcases feeling overwhelmed), and then this afternoon we went to meet all the new sorelle that just got here - all ELEVEN of them - and take them to the Duomo. I met Slla Lopez! She is AWESOME!!! I had actually written to her in the MTC and she even wrote me back. I kinda selfishly hope that Slla Bunker or Slla Heupel will be her trainer so that she can be part of my training family tree!

I feel like I don't know what else to say. Partly because I want to be able to talk about SOMETHING when I get home, but partly because everything seems so trivial with respect to the end of my mission. I told Slla Lyman this morning, "I can't believe that when I get home I'll be able to tell people that I'm a returned missionary." It's true. Who woulda thought that little Katie Soh would grow up one day to be a full-time missionary in Italy? My full-time mission isn't over - just completed. Next comes the new mission of "real life". I'm excited. I'm excited to put into practice all of the things I've learned. I'm excited to be a full-time member missionary. I'm excited to have a new calling and help other people. I'm excited to see my family. I'm excited to be able to talk with the friends I've made on the mission and my former companions. I'm excited to just love everyone I see. I'm excited to speak in English, even though I probably won't be very good at it at first.

Thanks for reading along, everyone. I'm sure all these emails have been probably mostly just boring, but I just can't express in words what has happened to me. You'll see it when you see me...you won't have to wait long. 

I love you all, really truly.

Con tanto tanto affetto,

Sorella Sobeck-Walton-Bunker-Jones-Silva-Heupel-Nilson-Lyman-SOH

***note from Nicole that the title this time comes from a song from the LDS musical "My Turn on Earth."  You can listen to it here if you're interested.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmR3DNBRrzo