Rome (if she wants to)

So here I am back in Rome.

And...

...I really want to say I love Rome...

...but...

...I can't.

What? Katie! The Eternal City! ROME! The Colosseum! The Roman Forum! The birthplace of western civilization! How could you NOT love Rome?!?!

I know. I know! I knowwww. I can't quite figure it out myself and I feel like a horrible person and a big loser because I'm not completely enamored of Rome. Let me be clear, I love Italy. I love it. I love Italy. I loved Siena. I loved Florence. I loved Assisi. I LOVED Venice. I'm just not crazy about Rome.

My first week in Italy was spent in Rome. I loved it right off the bat. I loved cramming every single day with as much sight-seeing and touring as I could. I loved the Colosseum. I loved seeing things that are over 2000 years old. I loved all the fountains. I loved the Vatican. I just loved the history and beauty of the city. But when it was time to go to Siena, I was ready to go. This time around we're staying in timeshare-like apartments that are literally right across the street from our old hotel. It's the same path to the Metro stop and the same grocery store as before, and the familiarity makes Siena feel like a dream. Like it never happened. It's weird. The fact that it feels like we never left is probably a contributing factor to why I'm not crazy about Rome this time around. I feel like I've done all of the headlining touristy things, with the exception of the Vatican museums which we're doing tomorrow. People keep wanting to go out and go back to the Colosseum and the Forum and the Pantheon and other fountains and stuff, and I keep finding myself not wanting to go. Rome is just so dirty and full of tourists. Everyone speaks English and even when I try to speak Italian I can't understand the harsh Roman accent. Maybe that's because I was just in Tuscany where the Italian is "pure" and easy to understand. There is a ton of petty crime here and I automatically reach for my pocket whenever I'm in a big crowd or especially when I hear an accordian (gypsies). And when you think about it, Rome really doesn't have much to offer beside it's ancient sites. New York City, for example, has a ton of historical sites (Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty) as well as museums (MoMA, the Met), public sites (Central Park, NY Public Library, Brooklyn Bridge), cool buildings (Empire State, Chrysler) and of course the fame of Broadway. But in Rome I feel like apart from the old stuff (Colosseum, Forum), fountains (Trevi, Four Rivers) and museums (Vatican, Capitoline, Borghese), there's not much to do. It wouldn't be a big deal, but those things never change. When you go to the Trevi for the first time, you look at it, stare at it open-mouthed, snap some pictures, exclaim how much you love it, and then you're done. It doesn't ever change.

I think I'm just a little jaded and that it's just too early for me to go back and visit all of the sites in Rome. I mean, I've been waiting a long time, my whole life basically, to see all of these things and then I saw them. And to be back a mere two months later and see all the same things seems like old news. I waited 21 years to see the Colosseum and then only waited 2 months to see it again. I feel like it underscores the awesomeness (in the real meaning of the word) of these sites. That's pretty much what happened to me with Michelangelo's David in Florence. I haven't even had time yet to sort through all of my thoughts from the first trip to Rome. I haven't even had time to fully comprehend the fact that I'm actually in Italy! My mind is a whirling vortex of thought and experience and art and it's going to take me years, literally years, to try and think about and understand everything that has happened to me in the last two and a half months. In ten years I'll go back to the Trevi Fountain and look at it again, stare at it open-mouthed, remember details about it that I had forgotten, snap some new pictures, reexclaim how much I love it and then I'll be done. But I haven't had time to forget it yet. I haven't had time to remember it yet. I feel like going to the Trevi tomorrow would taint my memory of it from the first time I saw it because I haven't had time to form that memory yet. It's all very confusing.

I think the bottom line is that I'm just ready to go home where I can have my thoughts finally settle in my brain. I miss America. I miss my family. I miss my kitties. I miss my friends and I'm excited to hang out with my new Italy friends when we're all back in Provo. And I guess I don't not like Rome. I do like Rome. I realize that those last two sentences say the exact same thing. I suppose I just needed to think about how I really feel, and now I feel better. Whew.

Thanks, blogworld :)