Volere è potere

Well. Here we are.

I'm going to Italy in 2.5 days. I can't believe it. I'm really going. I'm really, actually going to Italy. I'm going to live there for three months. I keep expecting to wake up and have none of this be real. I have dreams that something traumatic happens to me and I can't go. Like that I get in a terrible car accident. Or, my personal favorite, that I get diagnosed with cancer afterwhich I go straight to the beauty salon and shave my head G.I. Jane style and donate all my hair to Locks of Love since I'm going to be bald anyway. But none of that has happened yet. And the closer I get to Saturday, the more I am relieved that I'm still healthy but also the more I am scared that my catastrophe is right around the corner.

Every step of the way to getting to Italy has been a huge pain in the patella. Getting my passport, getting all the right paperwork for my visa, every single payment step - they've all been marred by miscommunications and inconveniences.

But like I said. Here we are.

I am unbelievably grateful for the opportunity I have to study abroad in Siena. This has been a long time coming. I don't know when I first decided I wanted to study abroad in Italy or even study the Italian language. I guess I attribute my initial interest to a project I did in first grade when we learned about Pompeii. I remember we made a book about the ruins and drew pictures and stuff for it. One of my pages was about how they uncovered a bakery and found eggs intact and even a loaf of bread in the oven. Other than that early exposure, I suppose I've always loved Italian food. I mean, come on, who doesn't?

When I was a little older, my family lived in Germany. One time when my grandparents came to visit, they took me with them on a trip to Switzerland, Austria and Italy. We didn't even spend a whole day in Italy. We went to Venice and I still remember walking through the piazzas saying "no grazie" to the old ladies shoving flowers in our faces, scratching the mosquito bites I got all over my arms in our hotel room in Austria the night before and the food. Oh, the food. Every time we walked past a gelato stand, we'd look in our hands. If there was not already a cone of gelato there, we'd buy more. As a 10 year old, I was in heaven. The canals may have smelled terrible, but that was a small price to pay for unlimited gelato.

The only other contributor as to why I've wanted to do this is from my experience working at Disney World in Florida. I met so many people there. I literally talked to hundreds of people every day from all over the world. I worked every day with people from all over the world. I was so amazed at how fluent in English my international co-workers were. I had taken Spanish in high school, but I only knew enough to say "no hablo español / I don't speak Spanish." I wanted so badly to speak another language. So when I got into BYU, the first class I signed up for was Italian 101. Part of the reason I wanted to go to BYU was because I knew they had a study abroad program in Italy.

It has been two years since I worked at Disney. I have taken four semesters worth of Italian classes. I can speak Italian without too much tripping over verb tenses and grammar. I applied to study abroad. I got accepted. It's paid for. I am going to Italy.

I believe that if you want something, you should go get it. You can't just watch your life go by - you need to be there directing your life. No one else is going to do it for you. It's your own fault if you're left wondering "what if...?" You have to try. Even if you hate it or get hurt or it isn't right, you have to try. You have to know for yourself. I thought I wanted to be an engineer, so I tried it. I changed my mind, and I'm ok. Now I know. I wanted to work at Disney World, so I did. I wanted to learn Italian, so I did. I wanted to study in Italy, so I am. I believe that God has a plan for me. I believe that God has a plan for each and every one of you. You'll know when something isn't right, like I knew about MSOE and being an engineer. I was scared. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. So I waited. I tried some different things. Most importantly, I let God have the final say. And look where I am now. I'm going to Italy and I'm happier than I've ever been.

This blog was created to serve as a public journal of my experience in Italy. I am going with a great group of people from BYU who I hope will bear with me and my somewhat off the wall personality. I am so excited to learn from them and grow with them in this experience. I hope to be a good friend to them, and I hope they will know that I genuinely care about them. This is our experience. I am so grateful that I have the chance to share in this with them. I'm grateful for the Our Family for Families First Foundation, which has not only funded my college education, but has also genereously contributed to my study abroad program and made it possible for me to do this. I am grateful to my family. They make so many sacrifices on my behalf, and especially to my parents who have also paid for a good chunk of this trip (thanks for earning the coins, Dad!) And of course I'm grateful for all of you! I have made so many great friends and I hope you all can vicariously enjoy this amazing experience.

So...

Here we are.



Are you ready?