Well, I guess now's as good a time as any to blog. I've been home for about 9 days. Wow. I can't believe I was in Italy just two weeks ago. Wow.
I've been comparing my mind lately to a snow globe. The past three months have been insane, and I've felt like my mind has just been shaken up. So many new things and experiences and places and languages and food and everything, I just tell people that it's been snowing in my head for the past three months and I'm waiting for the shaking to stop so the snow can settle in my brain. I really can't describe what my life has been like these past three months. Awesome, scary, amazing, terrifying, annoying, moving, unreal... I just don't think there's a word that describes it. My life has been go go go and I've just gotten caught up in the whirlwind and did everything without thinking. I mean, how could I think about what I was doing? First of all, I didn't have the time. The ideal time for thinking is of course the short time between when you go to bed and when you actually fall asleep, but that time lasted a grand total of about 5 min or fewer when I was in Italy. Second, how on earth can you even begin to comprehend that you've just spent the day in the Sistine Chapel and the day before you were at the Colosseum and the next day you're going to a Roman emporer's villa? Or that you've spent the past two months living in a city that is over 500 years old, speaking a language you hardly know? Or that you've seen, in person, almost every single work of Italian art that defined and spurred the Renaissance, effectively changing the world? My brain can't even wrap itself around the possibility of that ever happening, let alone that it has already happened!
Existential. That is closer to describing how I feel about my time in Italy (and how I felt when I was there). It was like someone had taken hold of my body and made it go and do and see all kinds of insane, amazing things and I just got bumped into the backseat and all I could do was just watch. Surely I couldn't possibly be IN Italy. Those aren't really 2000 year old ruins (what does that even mean to be 2000 years old?). Those rolling Tuscan hills aren't really one-of-a-kind. I don't feel any different. My body's the same. It moves the same. Those people look like regular people. The whole thing was just weird.
That being said, I loved Italy. Despite feeling weird while I was there, my life was pretty normal. Yeah I had to eat a lot at dinner (thanks, Paola) and change my schedule a bit, but it was like being in any new place. Granted the language was a barrier, but it could've been worse. Taking four Italian classes beforehand was definitely not useless. I could still communicate (at least a little bit) with people, I bought my groceries the same way, I brushed my teeth the same way, I just walked a different route to school, bought kinds of food and used a different kind of toothpaste. I mean, I'm pretty confident that I was just completely overwhelmed by everything, but there's a definite chance that I was really underwhelmed, that instead of being numb beyond all feeling, I wasn't feeling because there wasn't anything to feel. Who knows. Honestly, it doesn't even really matter. I went to Italy. I lived in Italy. I went to school in Italy. I spoke Italian every day, and people understood me! No one can ever take that experience away from me. And I really, truly did learn a TON. Not just about Italy and Italians or history and art, but I learned a lot about myself, about other people, about who I really am and what I believe. It was a super-condensed learning experience for sure.
I wouldn't trade my Italy study abroad for anything. I've learned a ton. I might not know what all of it means, but everything is shoved up into my brain, waiting to find a home. I've made some really great friends, which is surprising in and of itself for me (you can say "whatever" all you want to that comment, but it doesn't make it any less true). And I guess the most perplexing thing for me is the fact that I wanted something really bad and I actually got it. I went to Italy. My dream came true. I don't know if that's ever happened to me before. I mean, yeah, I've wanted things, but not this bad that actually happened!
During our last group meeting our professor told us that it was going to take us years before we'd finally begin to understand what had just happened to us the past three months, a conclusion I'd reached long before he said it. Please don't ask me what it was like being it Italy or what my favorite thing was or what I'll miss most because I honestly don't know. Ask me again in 10 years and maybe I'll have something for you.
Don't get your hopes up, though. I've got three months of snow whizzing about in my head and every one of those days has been a blizzard.
06 December 2010
21 November 2010
Rome (if she wants to)
So here I am back in Rome.
And...
...I really want to say I love Rome...
...but...
...I can't.
What? Katie! The Eternal City! ROME! The Colosseum! The Roman Forum! The birthplace of western civilization! How could you NOT love Rome?!?!
I know. I know! I knowwww. I can't quite figure it out myself and I feel like a horrible person and a big loser because I'm not completely enamored of Rome. Let me be clear, I love Italy. I love it. I love Italy. I loved Siena. I loved Florence. I loved Assisi. I LOVED Venice. I'm just not crazy about Rome.
My first week in Italy was spent in Rome. I loved it right off the bat. I loved cramming every single day with as much sight-seeing and touring as I could. I loved the Colosseum. I loved seeing things that are over 2000 years old. I loved all the fountains. I loved the Vatican. I just loved the history and beauty of the city. But when it was time to go to Siena, I was ready to go. This time around we're staying in timeshare-like apartments that are literally right across the street from our old hotel. It's the same path to the Metro stop and the same grocery store as before, and the familiarity makes Siena feel like a dream. Like it never happened. It's weird. The fact that it feels like we never left is probably a contributing factor to why I'm not crazy about Rome this time around. I feel like I've done all of the headlining touristy things, with the exception of the Vatican museums which we're doing tomorrow. People keep wanting to go out and go back to the Colosseum and the Forum and the Pantheon and other fountains and stuff, and I keep finding myself not wanting to go. Rome is just so dirty and full of tourists. Everyone speaks English and even when I try to speak Italian I can't understand the harsh Roman accent. Maybe that's because I was just in Tuscany where the Italian is "pure" and easy to understand. There is a ton of petty crime here and I automatically reach for my pocket whenever I'm in a big crowd or especially when I hear an accordian (gypsies). And when you think about it, Rome really doesn't have much to offer beside it's ancient sites. New York City, for example, has a ton of historical sites (Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty) as well as museums (MoMA, the Met), public sites (Central Park, NY Public Library, Brooklyn Bridge), cool buildings (Empire State, Chrysler) and of course the fame of Broadway. But in Rome I feel like apart from the old stuff (Colosseum, Forum), fountains (Trevi, Four Rivers) and museums (Vatican, Capitoline, Borghese), there's not much to do. It wouldn't be a big deal, but those things never change. When you go to the Trevi for the first time, you look at it, stare at it open-mouthed, snap some pictures, exclaim how much you love it, and then you're done. It doesn't ever change.
I think I'm just a little jaded and that it's just too early for me to go back and visit all of the sites in Rome. I mean, I've been waiting a long time, my whole life basically, to see all of these things and then I saw them. And to be back a mere two months later and see all the same things seems like old news. I waited 21 years to see the Colosseum and then only waited 2 months to see it again. I feel like it underscores the awesomeness (in the real meaning of the word) of these sites. That's pretty much what happened to me with Michelangelo's David in Florence. I haven't even had time yet to sort through all of my thoughts from the first trip to Rome. I haven't even had time to fully comprehend the fact that I'm actually in Italy! My mind is a whirling vortex of thought and experience and art and it's going to take me years, literally years, to try and think about and understand everything that has happened to me in the last two and a half months. In ten years I'll go back to the Trevi Fountain and look at it again, stare at it open-mouthed, remember details about it that I had forgotten, snap some new pictures, reexclaim how much I love it and then I'll be done. But I haven't had time to forget it yet. I haven't had time to remember it yet. I feel like going to the Trevi tomorrow would taint my memory of it from the first time I saw it because I haven't had time to form that memory yet. It's all very confusing.
I think the bottom line is that I'm just ready to go home where I can have my thoughts finally settle in my brain. I miss America. I miss my family. I miss my kitties. I miss my friends and I'm excited to hang out with my new Italy friends when we're all back in Provo. And I guess I don't not like Rome. I do like Rome. I realize that those last two sentences say the exact same thing. I suppose I just needed to think about how I really feel, and now I feel better. Whew.
Thanks, blogworld :)
And...
...I really want to say I love Rome...
...but...
...I can't.
What? Katie! The Eternal City! ROME! The Colosseum! The Roman Forum! The birthplace of western civilization! How could you NOT love Rome?!?!
I know. I know! I knowwww. I can't quite figure it out myself and I feel like a horrible person and a big loser because I'm not completely enamored of Rome. Let me be clear, I love Italy. I love it. I love Italy. I loved Siena. I loved Florence. I loved Assisi. I LOVED Venice. I'm just not crazy about Rome.
My first week in Italy was spent in Rome. I loved it right off the bat. I loved cramming every single day with as much sight-seeing and touring as I could. I loved the Colosseum. I loved seeing things that are over 2000 years old. I loved all the fountains. I loved the Vatican. I just loved the history and beauty of the city. But when it was time to go to Siena, I was ready to go. This time around we're staying in timeshare-like apartments that are literally right across the street from our old hotel. It's the same path to the Metro stop and the same grocery store as before, and the familiarity makes Siena feel like a dream. Like it never happened. It's weird. The fact that it feels like we never left is probably a contributing factor to why I'm not crazy about Rome this time around. I feel like I've done all of the headlining touristy things, with the exception of the Vatican museums which we're doing tomorrow. People keep wanting to go out and go back to the Colosseum and the Forum and the Pantheon and other fountains and stuff, and I keep finding myself not wanting to go. Rome is just so dirty and full of tourists. Everyone speaks English and even when I try to speak Italian I can't understand the harsh Roman accent. Maybe that's because I was just in Tuscany where the Italian is "pure" and easy to understand. There is a ton of petty crime here and I automatically reach for my pocket whenever I'm in a big crowd or especially when I hear an accordian (gypsies). And when you think about it, Rome really doesn't have much to offer beside it's ancient sites. New York City, for example, has a ton of historical sites (Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty) as well as museums (MoMA, the Met), public sites (Central Park, NY Public Library, Brooklyn Bridge), cool buildings (Empire State, Chrysler) and of course the fame of Broadway. But in Rome I feel like apart from the old stuff (Colosseum, Forum), fountains (Trevi, Four Rivers) and museums (Vatican, Capitoline, Borghese), there's not much to do. It wouldn't be a big deal, but those things never change. When you go to the Trevi for the first time, you look at it, stare at it open-mouthed, snap some pictures, exclaim how much you love it, and then you're done. It doesn't ever change.
I think I'm just a little jaded and that it's just too early for me to go back and visit all of the sites in Rome. I mean, I've been waiting a long time, my whole life basically, to see all of these things and then I saw them. And to be back a mere two months later and see all the same things seems like old news. I waited 21 years to see the Colosseum and then only waited 2 months to see it again. I feel like it underscores the awesomeness (in the real meaning of the word) of these sites. That's pretty much what happened to me with Michelangelo's David in Florence. I haven't even had time yet to sort through all of my thoughts from the first trip to Rome. I haven't even had time to fully comprehend the fact that I'm actually in Italy! My mind is a whirling vortex of thought and experience and art and it's going to take me years, literally years, to try and think about and understand everything that has happened to me in the last two and a half months. In ten years I'll go back to the Trevi Fountain and look at it again, stare at it open-mouthed, remember details about it that I had forgotten, snap some new pictures, reexclaim how much I love it and then I'll be done. But I haven't had time to forget it yet. I haven't had time to remember it yet. I feel like going to the Trevi tomorrow would taint my memory of it from the first time I saw it because I haven't had time to form that memory yet. It's all very confusing.
I think the bottom line is that I'm just ready to go home where I can have my thoughts finally settle in my brain. I miss America. I miss my family. I miss my kitties. I miss my friends and I'm excited to hang out with my new Italy friends when we're all back in Provo. And I guess I don't not like Rome. I do like Rome. I realize that those last two sentences say the exact same thing. I suppose I just needed to think about how I really feel, and now I feel better. Whew.
Thanks, blogworld :)
16 November 2010
Sienana hey hey hey goodbye
It's raining outside. How appropriate.
Well, today is my last day in Siena. We leave for Rome tomorrow morning. I'll do a reflection post later when I'm home, but I figured it was worth mentioning that today is my last day. We all took our Italian finals this morning and then had a big lunch at the school as a group. I probably won't take another Italian class, but I'm hesitant to say I'll never take one again because I love Italian. But, at least at BYU I probably won't take another Italian class. Weird.
After lunch today I went out with Bev and bought a gift for my host dad. Somers and I decided to split parting gifts so she would get one for Paola and I'd get one for Marco. Somers bought a cute, personalized apron for Paola that has her name on it and says "Il miglior ristorante sono io / The best restaurant is me". I bought a cool carved, wooden horse statue thing for Marco. I really like it and I feel like it'll totally go with their house. When I came home today, Marco had gotten our suitcases from their storage room and put them in our room. I am not looking forward to packing all of my stuff into my suitcase. I went out and bought an Adidas duffel bag because I have acquired quite a bit of stuff and I knew I was going to have to check another bag on the way home. I'm especially not looking forward to having to live out of a suitcase in Rome for ten days. Speaking of which, I leave Italy in 11 days. Yikies.
I'll have a ton of stuff to do in Rome. We're finally going to go to the Vatican museums and we're even going to the Galleria Borghese which is home to Bernini's David and his Apollo and Daphne. Excited.
Well I should probably start packing. I'm not really sad; I still don't think the fact that I'm actually in Italy has settled in yet, so it's not a big deal to leave a place I've never been. But ask me again in about two months...
Well, today is my last day in Siena. We leave for Rome tomorrow morning. I'll do a reflection post later when I'm home, but I figured it was worth mentioning that today is my last day. We all took our Italian finals this morning and then had a big lunch at the school as a group. I probably won't take another Italian class, but I'm hesitant to say I'll never take one again because I love Italian. But, at least at BYU I probably won't take another Italian class. Weird.
After lunch today I went out with Bev and bought a gift for my host dad. Somers and I decided to split parting gifts so she would get one for Paola and I'd get one for Marco. Somers bought a cute, personalized apron for Paola that has her name on it and says "Il miglior ristorante sono io / The best restaurant is me". I bought a cool carved, wooden horse statue thing for Marco. I really like it and I feel like it'll totally go with their house. When I came home today, Marco had gotten our suitcases from their storage room and put them in our room. I am not looking forward to packing all of my stuff into my suitcase. I went out and bought an Adidas duffel bag because I have acquired quite a bit of stuff and I knew I was going to have to check another bag on the way home. I'm especially not looking forward to having to live out of a suitcase in Rome for ten days. Speaking of which, I leave Italy in 11 days. Yikies.
I'll have a ton of stuff to do in Rome. We're finally going to go to the Vatican museums and we're even going to the Galleria Borghese which is home to Bernini's David and his Apollo and Daphne. Excited.
Well I should probably start packing. I'm not really sad; I still don't think the fact that I'm actually in Italy has settled in yet, so it's not a big deal to leave a place I've never been. But ask me again in about two months...
10 November 2010
Bombolicious!!!
Marco (and Paola) made us bomboloni tonight. We had to wait until 11:30pm until they were ready to be cooked. We just ate some. I almost died of deliciousness. My tastebuds swooned, that's for sure. I'd post a picture, but I didn't take any. And I would just take some random picture from the internet but I've read two news articles today about plagarism/cheating/public v. private domain and so now I'm all confused and I don't want to break any laws or hurt anyones' feelings. If you don't know what bomboloni are, let me google that for you. Basically they are Italian donuts. Mmmmmm.
02 November 2010
The hills are alive
This past weekend we went to Pienza, a little town in Tuscany known for its pecorino cheese, and for the fact that Pius II basically built the whole thing, giving it a kind of fake/Disneyland-esque quality. Pretty much the posterchild for Tuscan mini-cities. Our bus ride through the campagna was incredible. I thought I'd just post some pictures I took from the bus to give you an idea of what I could see at any given moment.
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